So, last week I took M and D in for haircuts. D got his usual...cut it as short as you can without it being a crewcut, watch out for the cowlicks, done. Easy enough on a boy, even one who would like to have his swirl disappear (yes, he's tried combing it out and drying his hair so it does not show, and yes, he's six...my cooing and repetative reminders that his swirl is cute are having less and less impact by the week). With M, we decided to cut it short, for all the usual reasons the parents of a 4 year old cut her hair short...she refuses to brush it herself, whines when we brush it, won't keep a pony tail or barrette in, its always in her eyes, etc, etc, etc. Now don't get me wrong, we did not drag her in there kicking and screaming. She was on board with the whole short hair thing, especially the bangs part...she really wanted bangs, so much so that she and her little cousin made the effort to cut their own bangs...another story all together. So off her hair goes and she comes out of there with the cutest haircut ever. Everytime I see her I smile because its so darn cute. Her daddy practically melted when we came home, he liked it so much. Its the perfect M haircut.
She seems to like it ok, but when directly asked, she says she does not like it. Why, you might ask (and we did)? She answered, and therein lies the issue: She said (her words, not mine) that she does not like her hair short bacause she is not pretty with short hair. Oh why, oh why my most precious of daughters, would you say such a thing? Well, she answers, because all the pretty girls in the magazines and on tv have long hair. Let the world stop and consider this answer. She's four. And to my knowledge, the shows that she has watched most on tv have been Clifford, Curious George and, compliments of her big brother, many, many episodes of Star Wars: The Clone Wars.
Now, we are not those parents who shield our kids from all things adult...she has seen pretty much every episode of West Wing, MASH and the Deadliest Catch, and I am sure she has caught bits and pieces of all manner of other shows. She has also probably seen (though not read!) the tabloid fodder that I occasionally indulge in...People Magazine being the main culprit. So I can not say she's really sheltered...but seriously? Is she already identifying with the cultural junk that surrounds us all? Maybe its the Princess influence...we don't really encourage it per se, but she does enjoy a good Disney princess story. And she does not like dolls or Barbies that much, but will occasionally pick one up to play with...and by occasionally I mean a couple of times a year. She has barbies and dolls, they are just not what she chooses to play with. So, I ask myself, where did I go wrong?
I read with scorn about all the parents complaining about their darling daughters' idol Miley doing a barely clothed spread for Vanity Fair last year...if you don't approve, don't let your daughter see the magazine. Or don't let her watch the show. Or convey to her that you don't approve. Or whatever. Stop whining about it. Now there is a new controversy over the pictures she did for Elle...Miley in thigh high black boots, posing seductively (there really is no other word for it) across a table. Again with the backlash from parents of young girls, again with my scorn for their comments. But now, I am brought up short by my own child, who does not watch Nickelodeon and won't see Elle or Vanity Fair, but has already been brainwashed by the pop culture nonsense...how can she thinks she's not pretty, just because she does not have long hair? And what can a parent do?
I could totally be overthinking this one, but I really don't think I am. We try and model for our children the right way to look at things...you are valued and loved for who you are, not what you look like. We show them we are proud of them for their art, their stories, for playing nicely together and for being kind, we try and help them understand that they need to focus on eating healthy and keeping the sweets to a minimum so they can "grow up big and strong", we don't dwell on our weight or others because really, we don't care and we don't want them to care about such things, and we try to encourage them to appreciate what God has given them in terms of health and family...and then this. I am struggling with this as a parent. Is it time to home school? Time to cancel our satellite tv coverage? Do we lock them inside and never let them out?
I'll reflect on this for awhile and let you know if I come up with any answers.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Monday, July 13, 2009
Williamsburg, VA
While on our East Coast tour, Jason spent nearly a week in Williamsburg with the Tighe family playing golf and taking advantage of their hospitality. On our return trip to MN, the whole family stopped by and had a few adventures of our own! We played at Casa DeTighe and spent a day at Water Country. Here are a few pictures of the fun!
UNC Chapel Hill, NC
While in NC, the big kids went for a sleepover at their cousin Maddie's (thanks Carey and Stephen!) in Chapel Hill. When Joshua and I went to retrieve them, we made a detour through the UNC campus, took a quick tour and stopped for ice cream. Here are some pictures of the kids at the Old Well and on Franklin Street.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Tye-Dye Mania!!
PopPop brought t-shirts and a tye-dye kit to the beach. The kids had a blast making their designs and then wearing their fun shirts. It may become an annual event!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
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